Thursday, June 15, 2006

Do composers really want help when they ask for it?

Symphony no. 1 in D Major fourth movement by Kelly Bennette

Kelly Bennette Said:
I have posted the unfinished fourth movement of my Symphony no. 1 in D Major. I would appreciate comments on this movement. Please don't say, "It ends abruptly" It does this cuz IT AIN'T FINISHED YET!
This movement is not the finale...the fifth is. ...
Symphony no. 1 in D Major fourth movement




Some quick observations (only a few listens of each movement)

Over all impression: not enough of the Zeitgeist.

The piece does not really work for me.

It has been come a cliché with me, but I will say it here again, I get the impression that you are thinking vertically too much and not thinking horizontally. That is you are overly concern with the vertical (Harmonic) aspects, does the note fit the current chord, instead letting each line, no matter how minor move in its own logical way.

As Cedric said the unrelenting two and four bar phrase becomes very predictable and tiresome. Also too polite, id est you have instrument A play a phrase then instrument B plays a phrase and then instrument C plays a phrase, each waits patiently for the other to finish before beginning, no one interrupts or talks over the other.

Your forward motion is always coming to a stop, through cadences (usually very obvious and cliché cadences) and the cessation of rhythmic activity and pulse, especially at transition of sections. Rarely (if ever) once section moves into a new section/idea without coming to a stop, like the whole orchestra needs to take a breath before starting something new.

1st Movement: The various sections do not make sense, just seem to be a random change of pace. The various sections and ideas seem to have no relationship with one another. You could cut each section out and play them in any random order without really affecting the impression and impact of the piece upon the listener. I suspect that there is too many ideas in this movement, so some serious pruning might be in order.

Last three and half pages seems more appropriate to the final of a Disneyland Stage production than the end of the first movement of a “symphony”.

2nd Movement:
Like the 4th movement I increase the speed. If I had to conduct the piece I would probably take the opening “Hymn” in a slow 2 (2/2 time). But on second hearing I'm not sure that would help or work. How familiar are you with church hymns? Most of the churches that I am familiar with plod through their hymns in a moderate to fast 4/4 like hammering nails into a two by four every quarter note. As an experiment take a hymn and conduct in in a slow 2/2 time, you might be surprise at the result.


3rd Movement: We here what five or six pages introduction, before we get to the actual material? Or so it seems.


4th Movement: I actually moved the tempo slider to the right to increase the speed by about 10 percent (maybe more), works a little better at a slightly faster tempo.

The various sections and the order in which they occur make a little better sense, but not a great deal.

A few questions that I do not need the answers to, but that I want you to think about and answer to yourself.
Have you given much thought about the length of each movement and how they balance and complement each other? If you had to identify the main motifs in each movement could you? And could you explain how they relate to each other?



Well these are just some very quick thoughts, and subject to revision. If you would like some detail comments, send me the Sibelius file to one of the movements and I will mark it up with comments.



NOTE: Almost two weeks now and no acknowledgement from the composer.


Ursus Demens

1 comment:

MaLj said...

Hi Ed,

I posted a link to your post here:

http://sibelian.blogspot.com/2006/05/amazing-prescience-of-ages-past.html

Maria